


Can't We Just Be?

by gremlinenby



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Gay Thomas Jefferson, I'm Bad At Titles, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:46:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19461430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gremlinenby/pseuds/gremlinenby
Summary: James looked up at the magazine his boyfriend had just tossed to him.'Thomas Jefferson and James Madison: Hiding a Scandalous Secret?'





	Can't We Just Be?

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is shit. I don't care that it's shit though cuz it's my work. Fight. Me.
> 
> Oh, also, the appearances of the characters are based on their Hamilton actors, just so you know.

James looked up at the magazine his boyfriend had just thrown in his lap, distracting him from the book he was reading. 

Thomas had barged into their apartment and was pacing, wringing his hands and murmuring to himself, obviously panicky. 

James skimmed over the headline article and groaned.   
"Oh no. This is not good."

"Yeah, that's an understatement, Jem!" The taller man snapped. James shut his book, staring up at his boyfriend worriedly. 

The article read 'Thomas Jefferson and James Madison: Hiding a Scandalous Secret?' 

"This could cost me the Republican vote! If they found out about... this- argh!" Thomas yelled, throwing himself into a chair. He tugged anxiously at his curly black hair.

"It's okay, Thomas, calm down. It's just a gossip rag grasping at threads like typical media with social figures. No-one needs to know before we want them to." James said, comfortingly rubbing his partner's shoulder. 

"They'll find out! It's not okay! I'm a young black man, I'm barely above water as a Republican presidential candidate! No-one can find out that I'm..." He made a noise of frustration and rubbed his eyes. 

James pulled back a little bit. Was Thomas really that so ashamed of their relationship? Was he unable to even say that they were together? Could he even say he was in love with another man? James knew he loved Thomas, but how much could Thomas really love him if their relationship was just a source of anxiety and stress? 

Thomas stood up and started angrily pacing again. James bit his lip and sighed. 

Did politics have to be so nuanced and divisive and prejudice? Why couldn't they just be?!? 

Deep in James' mind, however, he knew that things were unlikely to ever change. Was it worth it to stay together in a society that made them feel as terrible about this as Thomas did now? 

And he knew that Thomas wanted the presidential office so badly. He worked day and night, pushing himself to new limits constantly, stretching himself so thin.

"Maybe we should break up," James suggested. His voice was quiet and sad but still cut through Thomas' stream of thoughts like a razor.

Thomas hurriedly sat back down and took James' hands. "What!? No, no, no, no..." He said, frantically.

James smiled softly, eyes tearing up. "Thomas, everything you've worked toward is to become president. I don't want our relationship to hold you back."

Thomas insistantly shook his head. "No, Jem, I don't want that. I love you!" His voice was uncharacteristically frightened and sad.

Thomas shook his head again, eyes welling up with stress and fear. "I'm just worried that someone will find out... I don't want them to find out I'm... that I'm gay." He whispered the last part.

He'd never really thought about himself as gay. He'd been raised to believe that it was wrong to ever feel anything beyond friendship for another man. With his relationship with James, it had all just happened and he hadn't stopped to think about what it meant for his sexuality. He loved James and hadn't cared about anything else. It was just unfair that love had to jeopardize everything they'd worked towards. 

James' gaze at his partner softened and he hugged him tightly, gently stroking his hair. "Don't worry, Thomas. It's okay. Calm down. We can deal with this." James whispered into his boyfriend's shoulder. Thomas breathed out deeply, nuzzling his face into the top of the shorter man's head.

"I just want to be with you. I love you, James." He said, seriously.  
James pulled back and smiled at his partner. "We can handle these rumors together. I love you too, Thomas."


End file.
